Sunday, July 8, 2012

Regimes around the world

To be read in an ironic manner!

Socialism: You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. 
Communism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. 
Fascism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. 
Nazism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. 
Bureucratism: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away. 
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. 
American Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. 
French Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You go on strike, organise a riot and block the roads because you want 3 cows. 
Japanese Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are 1/10 the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called "Cowkimon" and market it worldwide. 
German Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
Italian Capitalism: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
Russian Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You count them and learn that you have 5 cows. You count again and learn you have 42 cows. You count again and learn you have 2 cows. You open another bottle of vodka. 
Swiss Capitalism: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. 
Chinese Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment and high productivity. You arrest the newsman who reports otherwise. 
Indian Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You worship them. 
British Capitalism: You have 2 cows. Both are mad. 
Australian Capitalism: You have 2 cows. Business seems good. You close the office and go for a few celebratory beers. 

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