Wednesday, April 4, 2012

You know your from London when...

-You say "the city" and you expect everyone to know which one.
-You walk over people who collapse on the tube.
-Your favourite movie has Hugh Grant in it.

-You have never been to The Tower of London or on the London Eye, but you love Brighton.
-You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
-You know where Karl Marx is buried.
-You consider Essex the countryside.
-You think Hyde Park is nature.
-You pay £3 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28p.
-Being truly alone makes you nervous.
-You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.
-The U.K. west of Heathrow is still theoretical to you.
-Your suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
-You have a minimum of five 'worst cab ride ever' stories.
-You say 'mate' all the time.
-You don't understand what people outside of London do for work.
-Your cleaner is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is Israeli, your landlord is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favourite bartender is Irish, your favourite restaurant owner is Greek, the watch-seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cab driver was Pakistani, your newsagent is Indian and your favourite falafel guy is Egyptian.
-The countryside makes you nervous.
-You don't hear sirens any more.  
-Somebody speaks to you on the tube and you freak out thinking they are a stalker. 

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